The third day.
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Me: Okay, only a five hour day. We're just going to...what the hell?
Anxiety: Oh no. The whole cooler's been rearranged. Don't let OCD...
OCD: *barely audible scream of absolute and total agony*
Me: Oh shit...
Work Ethic: Well, I guess we'll just have to fix it up!
Me: Fuck that. Let's do the freezer.
Reckless Endangerment: I'm telling you, man. Na-ked.
Realism: In-de-cent ex-po-sure.
Inner Child: I miss running around without pants.
Pervert: Don't we all?
Internal Sadist: Let's hang ourselves with our pants. It'd be ironic!
Me: How the hell would it be ironic?
Internal Sadist: It just would.
Sense of Irony: No it wouldn't.
Me: So...what would happen if that tube near the top of the cooler would burst? I'm bored.
Realism: Well, it would shower icy pain down onto your entire body, effectively freezing you to death.
Imagination: Or you could become a superhero!
Realism: No no, pretty sure it'd be the pain.
Me: Superhero, you say?
Inner Child: I wanna be a superhero! Or a fire truck!
Latent Psychopathy: You mean superVILLAIN!
Me: Yeah! Villain would be so much more fun. Shooting ice from my fingers. Freezing babies. Kickass.
Latent Psychopathy: Hey, he said it, not me.
OCD: FIX THE COOLER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Pervert: So is the bakery chick here today?
Me: No! She's not! Let it go, you're obsessed.
Pervert: Hey that chick's pretty hot.
Self-Respect: She can't be more than fifteen!
Pervert: If there's grass on the field, play ball!
Me: What the hell is wrong with me...
Work Ethic: Just get those green beans put away and ignore it.
Irrelevence: Green beans look like the Jolly Green Giant's wang!
Inner Child: What's a wang? Some Chinese thing?
Pervert: It's when a mommy and a daddy...
Me: Shut the hell up!
OCD: WHAT THE FUCKHELL IS A BANQUET MEAL DOING WITH THE EGGO WAFFLES?
Fashion Sense: A FILA jacket with a checked tie. How gauche.
Pervert: Here's a work idea: assless chaps. How about it?
Internal Sadist: That might actually be hot.
Me: What? But...KHAKIS!
Work Ethic: Ignore the khakis. Fix the ice cream.
Latent Psychopathy: You have an Exacto knife! Use it! USE. IT.
Inner Child: Let's play superhero! We can fly around the store on the cart!
Me: The cart has stuff on it though.
Irrelevence: Purple monkey dishwasher!
Laziness: He makes a good point.
Me: What? But...how...?
Pervert: Quick! The lady bending over to get a pizza is hot! Go, go, go!
Gluttony: Pizza?
Me: Why every work time?
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