I'm just like everyone else out there in the world...well,except I have conversations with myself. So I guess that makes me less like everyone else and more like all those hobos and mentals out there, I suppose.
Aside from that, let's see. Well, I'm a comedy writer, so you can assume a few things about me.
1. I never get laid. Ever. Seriously. I couldn't get ass if I walked into the middle of an orgy. I would end up somehow out on the porch, drinking Steel Reserve and haphazardly glancing back to see if everyone was done so I could ask one of the hosts where a bathroom was that WASN'T taken up by seven people humping because I really don't feel like pissing on their geraniums but it's getting late and I had a lot of water before I came to the orgy in order to negate the effects of the hangover that is sure to be coming tomorrow. I think I lost control of that analogy about halfway through. I don't care. I'm not changing it.
2. I drink. A lot. Okay, fine, it's not a LOT. It's just often and a decent amount each time. I don't know if that's better or worse than what I was thinking. Is volume more or less damaging than frequency? Has anyone figured that out? I can't have been the only person to ask that question.
3. I have massive, crippling psychological and social problems. 'Nah,' I can hear you say, 'I'm sure it's just run-of-the-mill quirkyness'. Manic Pixie Dream Girls are 'quirky'. Michael Cera is 'quirky'. I, however, operate a blog where I talk to all the various parts of my psyche, most of them boisterous and abusive. You tell me if that's 'quirky'.
Other than that...nothing else...really. For now, at least. Updates will occur when I remember. So...probably never. Or often. Who knows.
