Cooking Expertise: Seriously, bro. You rule. Portobello and beef burgers on Italian bread buns with celery/green apple slaw? That's some fancy restaurant shit right there.
Self-Loathing: The burgers fell apart!
Ego: Only a little and that's because the recipe didn't call for draining the mushroom/onion mix before combining with the beef.
Self-Loathing: Still.
Me: You know what? Still nothing. Chalk it up to a learning experience that still tasted amazing.
Libido: Even I'm satisfied.
Me: I...don't want to know how that's possible. At all.
Libido: It was good food!
Me: Good food doesn't relate to libido.
Pervert: Says you, dude.
Me: I don't wanna know! I don't wanna know!
Writer: And hey, you got your article all turned in with money coming your way soon.
Work Ethic: Not to mention having ANOTHER assignment for Thursday which you can spend tomorrow doing.
Writer: Well, and a Dan Eats Cat Food too but you should be fine there.
Work Ethic: Busy busy busy.
Hopeless Optimist: Maybe this is the start of something good!
Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP, OPTIMISM!
Hopeless Optimist: Oh.
Libido: So, you remember what I said earlier?
Me: Yes...
Libido: I was totally lying.
Me: I figured.
Libido: Yeah, no. I'm like a ticking time bomb. And seeing the Braves girls isn't helping.
Sports Freak: You aren't watching the GAME?!
Me: What? I am. They just pop up from time to time.
Libido: Just like...
Me: DON'T say it. Don't. I know what you're going to say and don't.
Libido: Just like...
Me: I'm warning you. I will punch you in the dick if you say it. Don't test me.
Libido: ...
Me: That's better.
Libido: Just like Boba Fett.
Crotch: GODDAMNIT OW!
Self-Loathing: Well. That just happened. Are you happy? Are you happy with what you did?
Me/Libido: No.
Self-Loathing: Well...then I am.
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